People of all genders can experience shifts or drops in their desire for sexual activity. Some people naturally feel little to no sexual attraction or desire and may identify as asexual. Others might find themselves in a relationship where their natural "set point" for sexual desire doesn't match that of their partner.
Mismatched sexual desire is incredibly common in intimate relationships. Because desire is entirely subjective, what feels like low desire to one person might feel perfectly high to another.
Often, low sexual desire is a knock-on effect of another underlying sexual difficulty. For example, if erections have become unreliable, or if ejaculation happens more quickly or slowly than you would like, it can lead to avoiding intimacy altogether and a subsequent drop in desire. Similarly, if sex is painful or penetration is difficult, it is completely understandable that your general interest in sex might reduce. Identifying the root issue is always the first step toward finding a path forward.
As with many sexual concerns, biological factors can play a significant part. Changes in desire can be linked to low testosterone, the menopause, general health and lifestyle challenges, or the side effects of certain medications.
If your interest in sex has changed and it is causing you distress, we always recommend visiting your GP to rule out or treat any physical causes. Medical adjustments might include reviewing medications or addressing alcohol and substance use. Common triggers include certain antidepressants, high blood pressure medications, diuretics, antipsychotics, anti-seizure medications, and alcohol.
There are many psychological elements that can impact your sexual desire, including:
Our professional network therapists will work with you through a comprehensive, gentle assessment to identify the core psychological factors behind your desire concerns. Using structured cognitive and behavioural processes, they will support you to manage anxieties, break avoidance cycles, and establish a level of sexual desire that feels authentic and right for you.
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